Burning Fire
by PasoMaddie
Summary: The life that they all experienced after Mockingjay...
1. Now

**Burning Fire**

A Hunger Games Fanfiction  
Hunger Games trilogy by Suzanne Collins  
'What should have happened and what should have been put into more depth.'  
POST MOCKINGJAY AND THE LIFE THEY HAD AFTER THE REBELLION

**PROLOGUE - Now**

My name is Katniss Everdeen, I've survived two games and won a rebellion, I was once the face of the insurgence, the Mockingjay. There is only one thought what never seems to come together: my love for Peeta. My daily life hasn't changed much since I returned to 12. All I do these days is sit on the couch and stare at the fire that Sae builds up for me each evening. Haymitch comes around now and then but whenever he does, he's just as drunk as usual, which creates for not pleasant company.

One evening when both of us were seated in front of the fire, warming our hands around freshly boiled tea that Sae had so gratefully done for us, he brought up a particularly familiar name. Peeta.

"He misses you, you know?" He says after drawing a long sip from his tea. I didn't respond to him, just kept my eyes on the blazing red flames that licked up the fireplace and ate greedily at the logs. "Katniss…" he began, for once using my real name instead of 'sweetheart.' "You need to start getting out again, eating… sitting here isn't going to change anything."

"And what? You know how I feel? You know what's going through my head right now?" It seemed like my voice had been found and now I sat there with my cup abandoned on the coffee table and tears welling up in my eyes.

He sighed and took in my appearance. My clothes hadn't been washed in weeks and to think about it, neither had I. I had barely eaten in the past few months, only a couple of bites here and there to give Sae some peace.

"No, I don't know, Katniss because you never let anyone in!" he yelled back, louder than my volume. Haymitch stood up abruptly and turned to leave when the door burst open and a boy with blonde hair and blue eyes stood there, wide eyed.

"What is going on in here?" Peeta questioned, glancing worriedly at me briefly. "You can hear you guys from the other side of the Victor Village."

I stood up and pulled a blanket securely around my shoulders. "I'm going to bed."

A hand clamped down on my shoulder as I turned to walk away. "Sweetheart, you should let Peeta in for a few minutes. After all, it is pretty chilly out there."

I shrugged out of the embrace and continued walking, taking one step at a time. "Fine, make yourself at home, Peeta." I added, before disappearing into the safety of my bedroom.

Downstairs voices continued, the voice of Peeta and then a door slamming and several pairs of boots on the patio, disappeared into the night.

I stood up from the bed and peered out the window, watching as the boy with the bread continued to his own house, stopping only once to peer up into the window that looked into her bedroom, before disappearing into the warmness of his house. I imagined the smell of his freshly baked bread and the texture of the still warm substance melting in my mouth as the kitchen light was switched on. The memory was broken when the other door in the Victor Village was closed and Haymitch made his way into his own home once again.

The house was eerie and quiet as usual as I danced down the steps to retrieve a glass of water. Momentarily I was blinded as the light flickered on and lit up the benches, cupboards, stoves and cooking equipment in the kitchen. I trailed my fingers along the bench tops, as I stepped towards the sink. My eyes saw unseeingly at the floor as I was lost in my own whirlwind of thoughts.

Peeta's face, his lean yet muscular body, his lovely blue eyes, his sandy blonde hair, his easy but convincing smile and his honesty that always told me he was telling the truth. I know somewhere in me I love him, I really do. I know that now, but I don't know if it can ever go back to the way it was; back to the time where Peeta and I loved each other and would fight off the nightmares together.

My hands brushed over a texture that was unlike the smooth yet rough surface off the bench. This texture was smooth and pure. It slipped across the bench at the slight bump off my fingers.

I glanced at the material that my fingers had just discovered and picked up, feeling the paper slip between my fingers. It fell back onto the bench, before I retrieved it once more.

My eyes trailed across the white side, where in neat, cursive, controlled writing was written, Katniss. Just from that single word, I knew who those letters would be written from.

Skimming over the words, I read it out loud to myself.

_Katniss,_

_It hurts me to see how what has happened in the past, has come between us. I'm so, very sorry that it has. I wish we could change the past or because that's impossible, I wish we could change the way things are now. _

_I love you, Katniss, I always have. Even through the hijacking, my feelings have never changed for you. If anything, they've grown stronger. _

_If you ever want me in the future, you know where to find me._

_Yours always,_

_Peeta._


	2. Love You

CHAPTER –Love You

I had gone to bed after reading the note and curled up in a tight ball on my bed. I wrapped my arms around my torso, trying to rid the pain that tore through my middle. The pain was also stabbing my heart, reminding me of all the pain I had caused him and now I was doing it again.

Haymitch's words rung in my ears, 'You could live a million lives and still never deserve him.' He was right; Peeta had never been anything else but kind and open to me, while I had been closed and cold to him, only showing small amounts of affection to him.

Coldness seeped into the room, chilling me to the bone. I reluctantly stood up and grasped my robe that hung on the door knob. I wrapped it securely around my shoulders.

My bedroom window had a view of the rest of the Victor Village and from there I could see what the other victors were doing.

Tonight, Haymitch's light was open in his living room, probably drinking the memories away as usual. Many houses stood dark and empty, there were only three victors in District 12 and that was how it was going to stay. Peeta's study light was on and there was no doubt to what he was doing in there. Painting. My mind wandered back to the letter that the boy with the bread had left.

Before I knew what I was doing, I was down the stairs, out my front door and standing limply at Peeta's. I lifted my hand to knock and felt my knuckles connect with the wood. It was a few moments before someone answered the door.

His blue eyes locked with mine immediately, a hint of surprise reflecting of his expression. "Katniss."

"Peeta." I responded, smiling gently. He stood there for another minute, dazed and caught up in his memories. "May I come in? I just want to talk."

He seemed to snap out of his daze then and straightened up immediately. I had almost forgotten how much shorter I was than him. "Of course." He answered, pushing the door open and stepping aside to let me in.

From there, we sat in his living room, drinking warm hot chocolate which Peeta had so generously made up in a short amount of time. "So, what is it that you wanted to talk with me about?"

I sighed, preparing myself for the feelings that were about to flow out of my mouth for the first time; the words that are going to change both of our lives and feelings. "Peeta, I found your letter…"

He looked at me in shock for a second, his mouth agape. Quickly, he recovered and began to stutter a sentence. "Oh, um, right. Katniss… about t-that."

I placed a hand over his knitted ones and he jumped in surprise at the gesture. "It's fine, it actually

made me come to sense of my feelings, of how I truly feel about you. You've always been the one that has been there for me during everything that's happened. You've already been there to hold me when the nightmares invade, in the most traumatic and unimaginable times. I am so grateful to have had you in my life. You're my boy with the bread, what would I do without you?"

Ever so slightly, a light shade of red covered his cheeks but he only smiled and leaned forward, brushing his hand across my cheek. I leaned into the touch that I had yearned for the past few months.

For once I decided to show affection towards the boy I loved. I whispered to him softly, asking him of something I hadn't been able to feel since the rebellion. "Kiss me." He looked at me in shock, his eyes asking me, are you sure? I nodded and leaned forward, awaiting his lips to meet mine.

As soon as there was a pressure on my lips, a spark ignited and I felt that feeling I had felt once before; once in the Quell on the beach, after receiving a pearl and a few times in the 74th Annual Hunger Games. Our kisses felt so natural, as if they were meant to be. I kissed him passionately, showing all the things that I couldn't say or express in words, all the feelings that were still bottled up inside of me.

Peeta was the first one to break away for air and in that moment, I could see everything he felt for me.

"Have you heard from Gale?" Peeta asked me. It had been several hours since I had declared my feelings for him and now we sat across from each other, our hands interlocked between the gap.

Have you heard from Gale? Have you heard from Gale? Gale. Gale. Gale. His question with the boy's name bounced around in my head, searching for the answer. "No."

He nodded, quickly deciding to change the subject. "So, um, what have you been up to lately? I haven't seen you in the woods lately."

The real answer was nothing. I suspected he already knew that. Haymitch or Sae probably told him, so I gave him the truth he already had. "Watching fires crackle and disappear. And you're right, you haven't seen me in the woods lately and that's because I haven't been out there. I've been cooped up on the sofa not eating, barely sleeping and missing one boy in particular a hell of a lot." Tears were welling up in my eyes, threatening to spill over my cheeks. My cheeks felt like they were burning, burning from the flame that has always been within me, my flame of anger; Anger at the Capitol for taking so many loved ones away; Finnick, Prim, my father, a part of Peeta and a part of me.

I felt Peeta's hands leave mine and for a second I thought he was going to leave. I panicked and felt the tears spill and whimpered, "Please, please don't leave me." I grasped his hands and held them tightly to me so he couldn't pull away.

"Katniss, Katniss, I'll always be here, I'm not going to leave you."

I expanded my lungs with deep breaths and nodded, letting him pull me to his chest. "Promise?" I asked for reassurance.

He kissed my forehead lovingly and whispered against my skin, "Always."


	3. Back To Where It All Began

**CHAPTER – Back to Where It All Began**

I had a reason to get up this morning; because one specific person gave me one. As I lay in bed, considering the options I had today, my mind began to wander to the boy with the bread. I wondered if he would be baking today; or what about painting.

I pulled back the blanket and strode over to the window in curiosity, as if just staring at his house would give me those answers. The curtains were drawn across the windows and no lights were switched on due to the daylight. Any stranger walking by, could think that these houses were abandoned and unlived in, because they merely looked as if life grew and ate within them.

A shadow loomed by my doorstep, but the figure was hidden by the overhang of the roof. Three raps against wood signalled the person's presence.

"Effie?" The woman appeared just as I remembered her last; her hair a bright pink, her lips perfectly shaped with lipstick, pale pink eye shadow and a green umbrella in one hand.

"Hello, Katniss dear." She responded, scooping me up into a tight embrace.

"What are you doing here?" I questioned, pulling her into the family room and beckoning her over to couch. I turned around and began picking wood from the basket to start a fire.

"Yes, good idea, let's cut straight to the point. After all, we're on a tight, busy schedule. It's going to be a big, big, big day!" Once the fire had begun to crackle and flames licked and ate greedily at the wood, I turned to face the woman in my house with a puzzled expression. The woman with bright pink hair smiled and giggled lightly. "Oh, look at your face! Brilliant, just brilliant! You're coming back to the Capitol with me for a little while."

I think my jaw just dropped. I think there's sweat building up on my forehead. I think I need to sit down before I pass out. "What?" was all I could push out and even then, it came out on only a breath of air.

She moved her umbrella into her lap and placed a hand over one of mine as I fell down into the comforts of the sofa. "Oh, honey. Cheer up. It's the Capitol, the new Capitol." She explained.

"But why?"

"Because Paylor needs to see all of the remaining victors again, she wants you to approve of the new plans for the districts and capitol. She thought you guys suffered the most in this world while under Snow, so she thought you guys would want a say in it."

I didn't want to venture past the fence of District 12, let alone travel across eleven other districts. I looked up to her face, my eyes wide with fear. "I know it will be hard for you, both you and Peeta, but this will all be for the best in the future, I promise."

The future. That was something to think about. Now that I had made amends with Peeta, it was only the beginning of a future I could see and with more improvements to the capitol and districts, it was becoming a happier vision.

"Now," she began, taking her hand off of mine and standing up, her umbrella once again in her hand, prepared to be put up to bear the day's sunlight. "Why don't you start packing and I'll meet you at Peeta's?"

"Peeta's coming?" A surge of hope spread through me.

Effie nodded, starting towards the door. "Of course he is, Katniss dear, he's a victor too." Right, I thought. And then she was gone, already making her way over to Peeta's.

"What to bring, what to bring?" I thought over and over to myself. My sleep clothes and hair brush was already in a small bag and now all I needed was clothes. I opened my closet doors and immediately my nose caught a light whiff of stagnant air. In between my few items of clothing, I still had the many beautiful dresses and suits that Cinna, my past Stylist from the Games had created.

I felt a pang in my heart at the thought of Cinna, just another person's death who was on my hands.

Packing a few of Cinna's creations, some of the things Peeta used to like and a few of my old things, I stepped towards the front door, where I stood just staring outside.

It wouldn't be the first time I had stepped a foot outside my door in months, no definitely not the first, but this would be the first time I would venture further than the victor village, further from the comforts I had grown so accustomed to.

One step at a time, I thought to myself as I placed one foot on the porch outside of my house. From just across the way, I saw Peeta's door open and his face peer around the wood. Our eyes met and he stepped around the door, leaving it wide open. He held his arms out towards me, beckoning me towards him.

With him in sight, I put one foot in front of another and gladly walked into his strong, warm arms, where I felt most safe. He kissed the top of my head and took my suitcase from him, leading me into the warmth of his house and towards our next adventure.


	4. The Capitol

**CHAPTER 4 – The Capitol**

A hovercraft floated in the sky, on the edge of District 12, just before the woods started. Peeta so kindly let me go on first, before following shortly after and finally, Effie. To my surprise, Haymitch was already seated with not to my surprise, a glass of rum.

"Hey, Sweetheart!" he called, clearly drunk by the slight slur of his words and the way he moved his hands, some of his drink spilling onto his jeans. "Peeta, my man!"

Peeta being his easy talking self, swiftly took a seat across from Haymitch and began a light conversation, to the best that he could.

While the drunk man and the boy with the bread, spoke softly to each other, I turned to Effie, questions bubbling up inside me from not seeing her for so long. "So, how have you been, Effie?"

"Oh, just fine, Katniss. Haymitch has been keeping me up to date with yours and Peeta's progress and I must say, Katniss that I am so sorry about your sister."

Another pang in my chest, one that hurt so much that I left the conversation and took a seat next to Peeta. The boy with the bread snuck a glance of worry towards me but didn't interrupt Haymitch's words.

That night I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. The thought of tip toeing down to Peeta's makeshift room passed through my mind, but I squashed that down, thinking it was too early in our new relationship for that.

But in the end, my wants won over and I found myself in the darkness of the corridor. With a small knock, I pushed the door open ajar slightly. I peered around the corner and found Peeta stirring and looking at me through groggy eyes.

"Katniss?" He questioned confused, his voice full with sleep. He sat up against his elbows, his eyes more open now.

"Um, yeah, hi." I stuttered, unsure how to ask, can I stay with you?

He patted the bed beside him, beckoning for me to come sit with him. As I sat gingerly on the edge of the bed, he asked, "Did you have a nightmare?" Tentatively, I stretched my body out along the bed, lying down next to him. I rolled over onto my side so I could stare into his blue eyes. Peeta watched me with a confused expression as I shook my head.

"Why did you come to me?" Ouch, that hurt just a little bit. In the darkness, he must have seen the wounded expression that crossed his face because he was instantly trying to fix what he had just said. "I mean, I love having you here Katniss, I always do—it's just I didn't expect to have you coming to me, you always used to come to my room when you had nightmares."

I nodded, remembering the times when I had ventured out into the darkness of the night, just to be in his arms when the nightmares hit. Hesitantly I reached out with one hand and placed it against the warmth of Peeta's cheek, letting my fingers brush against his cheek bone. In the silence of the room, I heard his breath hitch.

"I just couldn't sleep." I responded after several moments of silence in a whisper. "I missed you."

Slowly, he let his arm snake around me and his eyes stared into mine for approval. Instantly I shifted closer, letting my head fall onto his chest and his arm embrace me around the waist. Embraced in each other's arms, we fell asleep, me to the beating of his heart.


	5. You Look Beautiful

**CHAPTER 4—You Look Beautiful**

"So, we all know that Coin before her… death, was asking all of the remaining victors about their opinions on a Game involving the Capitol children. Mostly, of you all said no but a couple," her eyes glance at Haymitch but they lock on me. I look away and see Peeta next to me, staring at me. I don't dare look at him; I just stare at his hands. They are clasped in front of him, a light pink from the paint he must have used this morning. "Said yes. I and the rest of the Capitol are not going to go forward with this but I still want to hear why you are pressing on the yes."

Eventually everyone else's stares join Peeta's and fall upon me. I suddenly need and want air, I can feel my heart pounding against my chest, sweat trickling down my spine and past my eyes, feel my body stiffen. I clasp my hands tightly in my lap, feel my finger nails dig into my palm. I mostly did it for Prim, for revenge of the Capitol, for putting us through so much. I wanted them to hurt as we had, watch as they suffer as they did to us.

I'm explaining all of this quietly to everyone in the room. There isn't many victors left; only Haymitch, Beetee, Annie, Peeta and I sit in this small room. Effie has also decided to join us.

I'm shaking, with the feeling of wanting to cry, but I blink rapidly, trying to hold them back, not wanting to show any weakness in front of them.

Peeta's hand gently closes over my knitted hands and I latch onto it desperately. I close my eyes and drink in the feeling of Peeta's hand in mine, the warmness his body generates and the softness of his skin. I begin to talk again, hearing my voice only shake a few times. "But if I could change my answer now, I would—because I don't think making them go through what we did is a very humane act. And they weren't the ones that made us go through it exactly, Snow was."

I feel Peeta's hands squeeze mine and I squeeze back lightly. Haymitch explains that he saw how much pain I was in after Prim died and he remembered all of the awful times the Capitol had put him through, so he had agreed with me, the Mockingjay.

***PAGE BREAK***

That night, Paylor invites Peeta and I to a ballroom party. I'm getting dressed into the orange dress, one of Cinna's creations, when there is a knock at the door. Quickly, doing up my last button on my light throwover, I hurry over to the door where Peeta awaits on the other side.

He takes in the dress and the corners of his mouth twist upwards. I feel my heart jump into my throat. He remembers, I think with glee.

He holds out his arm in a formal manner and full with hope for the future, I cling on as he leads me to dinner.

***PAGE BREAK***

"Ah, Katniss, Peeta, so glad you could make it."

Peeta held out a small container which contained some fresh goods—cupcakes and cheese buns. "Thought you might like something sweet and/or savoury."

"Aw, thank you, Peeta, you're too sweet." She side glances at me and then out of the corner of her mouth she says, "You've got a good one." She winks at me.

I laugh, which sounded a little forced so I quickly turned it into a simple smile.

Paylor is dressed in a long silver gown that falls all the way to the ground. Around her chest are small frills and the sleeves are thin and criss-cross on the back.

"You look beautiful, Paylor." I compliment.

She looks at the orange dress that falls to my knees to my hair which is left out rather than in my trademark braid. "And so do you, Katniss."

"Thank you." I say.

We move into the ballroom of the big manor and find many people dressed up, dancing in pairs or groups or solo. Paylor moves off to talk with some of the other guests that she invited.

Peeta turns around to face me and extends his hand to me. "May I have this dance?" He asks me as the music slows to a slow waltz. I giggle and take his hand in mine, letting him pull me into the middle of the dance floor.

"She's right, you know?" Peeta whispers into my ear softly as we turn in slow circles. He rests his hands on my hips and mine around his neck.

"Hmm?" I mumble into his dress shirt.

"You do look beautiful." I blush and am thankful that he can't see my burning face. "You really do. I like your choice of dress too by the way."

He remembers, is all I can think. He remembers this dress from the Victory Tour.

"You remember?" I ask surprised.

He nods. "Of course I do. How can I forget about you in this dress, the dress that is my favourite colour."

"Just because of the hi-jacking—I know some things you can't tell if they really happened or not. I wasn't sure, I was hoping you would." I began to feel Peeta's body shaking against mine. I pull back to look at him in the eyes. I can see he's on the verge of another episode. "Peeta?" I squeak.

"Can I ask you one question, Katniss?" He asks me but doesn't give me time to answer because he asks it anyway. "You love me, real or not real?" I hesitate on my answer and automatically regret that pause. His face turns a shade of red and I'm already beginning to feel a little scared as I take a step backward. "I knew it," he yells and I see from the corner of my eye that some people are turning their gazes on us, including Paylor. "I knew you didn't love me. You don't do you? You just love _him_, you love him and not me! You're just pretending to love me to get closer to me so that you can kill me! Because you're a _mutt_, that's what you are! You know that? You're a mutt!" His voice has risen through many octaves and I can see Paylor's face turning worried.

She hurries over and assesses what's happening. "Oh, no." is all she says and I know that she understands what's happening at the moment.

"Peeta…" I think to all of the happy, scared moments that we've shared and realise I do love Peeta Mellark, I always have. Now I'm wondering why I didn't realise that my heart had already picked him before my brain even had time to realise this. "Peeta, I do, I do love you."

He faltered for a second and I saw his pupils subtract and then dilate again as the venom inside him took over once more. "No, you're just telling me that! You don't love me!"

"Peeta," I whisper before cradling his face between both of my palms. He struggles for a moment, even when I touch my lips to his; but as I look into his eyes I see the black pupils in his eyes shrink to their original size. Peeta slumps forward against me and buries his face into the crook of my shoulder. I feel the wetness of his tears on my skin and immediately begin to reassure him.

Everyone turns back to their conversations and Paylor goes back to the group she was talking with, trying to give us some privacy.

"I could have hurt you, I'm so sorry, Katniss." He continues to apologise until I pull away and look him in the eyes. His blonde hair is tousled and its all I can do to stop myself from running my hands through it.

"I'm not sorry." I say and he looks at me incredulously. "You helped me realise that I actually did love you. I have been unsure of my feelings lately, they've all been so jumbled—but you helped clear my head, helped me to realise that I do love you and I always have."

With that he crushes his lips to mine and like that time on the beach, I feel that spark that always has me wanting more.


End file.
